by Justin Halpern
– Chelsea Handler
There is not that much to say about the book, just that it's funny!
I found it on a Sunday, I was bored and as I start reading the lucky book number it made me laugh!
“Try not to piss yourself.”
– Father Advice “On Spending the Night at a Friend’s House for the First Time
The book starts with Justin moving back to his parent's house after a break-up.
And one day hearing what his father is keep saying, Justin decides to update his messenger's daily status with a funny saying his dad will say that day. And after, he created a Twitter account with most of the funny and ridiculous things his dad said. When the account got thousands of followers he started to get calls from agents and tv producers which lead him to write the book Sh*t my dad says and also the show with the same name.
Sayings and Stories that I found the best!
- The remark about the dog asshole
- On talking to strangers
“Listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don’t know them, run away. No one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant ass somewhere else.”
- On being teased
“So he called you a homo. Big deal. There’s nothing wrong with being a homosexual…. No, I’m not saying you’re a homosexual. Jesus Christ. Now I’m starting to see why this kid was giving you shit.”
- On candy
- It’s important to behave yourself- Can I draw stuff? 😂
- On child safety
- On asking to have the candy passed to me during Schindler’s list
“What do you want—the candy? They’re throwing people in the fucking gas chamber, and you want a Skittles?”
- On Selling His Beloved 1967 Two-Door Mercury Cougar
“This is what happens when you have a family. You sacrifice. [Pause] You sacrifice a lot. [Long pause] It’s gonna be in your best interest to stay away from me for the next couple days.”
I will check out the show next!
Note: Some pieces of information are left out of the book.
Get the full experience by reading it! ❤